Grab a cup of coffee or tea, I did, because this tradition represents more than meets the eye. I had never seen or heard of the “breaking of the glass” until Gabriela and Sasha consulted with me about including this in their ceremony. Gabriela and Sasha knew that they wanted to include this tradition as a way for Gabriela to honor her parents. Gabriela grew up in a home that practiced Judaic Traditions and she felt it was important to express that part of who she is in her wedding ceremony. So when they asked if I knew of this tradition, I explained that I did not. I enthusiastically asked, “What is it and how do we do it?”
They looked at each other and gave me that smile that says “well…” I knew after the fact that it was because it was a little difficult to explain. Sasha mentioned that when they “googled” it, there were several explanations they found but it would probably be best if I looked it up myself to understand it better. I agreed and told them not to worry that we would figure out how to include this in the ceremony. Gabriela said that one thing she did know for sure about it, is that it should be done at the end of the ceremony and she wanted her father to participate by bringing up the glass when it was time.
So when I “googled” this tradition, I understood why it was complicated for them to explain. There is an abundance of websites that offer up explanations of this tradition, some more detailed than others. A Jewish wedding ceremony has many symbolic traditions throughout the ceremony, the breaking of the glass takes place at the end of the ceremony just as Gabriela had explained to me. And the traditional breaking of the glass actually has many explanations for the symbolism. Ranging from symbolizing the destruction of the Jewish Temple in Jerusalem, to the representation of human relationships being fragile, it is also a reminder that marriage changes the lives of individuals forever. And yet another interpretation sees it as a symbol of breaking the lives they had before this day and starting a new one together in this marriage. So needless to say it can mean many things. I consulted with my couple and asked which symbolic aspect resonated with them and as we talked about this they chose yet another variation that I had found. Since this was an Inter-Faith ceremony the following would be recited in order to offer up an explanation of what their guests were about to see. For this romantic couple who also had written their own vows and included their own love story within those vows, here is what the breaking of the glass symbolized for these two lovebirds.
“Before you were born, you and your soulmate were one, a single soul.
Then, as your time to enter this world approached, God shattered that single soul into two parts. These two half-souls were then born into the world with a mission to try to find each other and reunite.
At the time, the split seemed tragic and incomprehensible. Why create fragmentation where there was once completion? Why break something just so it could be fixed? And if you were meant to be together, why didn’t God leave you together?
With marriage, two halves are re-uniting never to part again. Not only that, but you can look back at the painful experience of being separated and actually celebrate it. For now it is clear that the separation brought you closer than you would otherwise have been.
Ironically, it was only by being torn apart and living lives away from each other that were you able to develop as individuals, to mature and grow. Your coming together is something you had to achieve and choose, and therefore it is appreciated deeply. With the joyous reunion at this wedding, it becomes clear that your soul was split only in order to reunite and become one on a higher and deeper level.
And so you break a glass, normally this happens under the “chupah” then everyone immediately shouts the congratulatory wish of “Mazel Tov!” Because now, in retrospect, even the splitting of souls is reason to be joyous, for it gave your connection the possibility for real depth and meaning.”
Either one, or the couple together can stomp the wineglass to crush it. So in this ceremony, Gabriela’s father brought up the wineglass safely wrapped in linen, he exchanged some words of humor with Sasha and she proceeded to break the glass and we all shouted with great joy Mazel Tov!
This felt like the official “let’s get this party started” signal. The energy and mood shot up a few notches when everyone shouted in unison, Gabriela and Sasha holding hands turned to face everyone and I introduced them as Mrs. and Mrs. Kochen for the first time and off we all went into the beautiful sunset on the other side of the courtyard there at Tivoli Too! in Laguna Beach where this beautiful wedding took place.
